So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Sorry my hands just texted you
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You ate ashes out of my bong
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
