DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
