You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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