dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
