i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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