Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Swine flu. Run for my life!
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
two words: eviction party
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
