We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
