cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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