I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
