The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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