I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
