why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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