Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
wow bdsm is so cute
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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