Can i not drive my cunt home
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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