The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
