M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
