It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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