so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
