what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
