Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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