Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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