i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I need to calm my uterus...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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