I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
