He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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