They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
