from now on my penis is your penis
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
