I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
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