WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
