we made out on top of his cat.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
