I wish I could teleport
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
