You're a womanizer and a bitch.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
