someone get that fucking seahorse.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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