He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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