No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
