I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
