Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize