never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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