Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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