This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
