i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Couch. On fire.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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