I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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