It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
