I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
