my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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