absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
