I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
