have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i will never coherently bang her
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
only you would photoshop your dick
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
