Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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