can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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