OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
