She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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