Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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