He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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