the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
false alarm. still invincible.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
