you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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