at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
MIDGETS
????
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
