The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
