fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
