Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
