um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
vagina is talking i cant
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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