Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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