I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
